Sunday, June 5, 2011

No more me...

I have lost it, i am no more me....
for i no longer catch glimpses of what i used to be...
i no more shine or run like i did...
I have lost it, i am no more me....

Innocence lost.... as i grow old..
Eyes once opened can never close...
Things seen or heard can never be erased..
I have lost it, I am no more me...

Parts have died, ugly parts reborn,
confusion, depressions, occasionally scorned..
Thoughtless I'm told...
And maybe it it so...
I have lost it, I am no more me...

So what now, when one has died...?
but to move on and go with the flow?
Harden hearts, and thickened souls...
Once compared, I am no more me...

Thoughts.... just thoughts

Just sitting alone, contemplating on the different people that has come in and out of my life...
Paying tribute to the people that have picked me up when times were bad...
My first memory of an Angel was this girl called Racheal.
I must have been only 7-8 years of age then... and had a friend named Angela..
We were pretty close, being the only Asians in the class... We were in Papua New Guinea you see.
And for some reason Angela and I had a falling out. Tho we were close, somehow she always made me feel inferior to her.... guess i was her feel good bag of some kind.
And yes, she was very pretty and i at that age... average.. and still am..
And so Angela and i didn't talk for days... and i remember Racheal getting us together and making us shake hands....
I will never forget that gesture, she didn't have too.
I recall her always being very supportive and kind in heart..
Never putting people down, and at that age finding ways to guide people through..
She always picked me up when i was down, made sure i was ok..
Always had kind words.....
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I have some great friends in Singpore too,
They always show me such great hospitality,
keeping me updated on prayer events and such.
Meng for sure, never lets me leave without giving me something.
And if i was out with Gu Gu... well rest assured she will never let me pay for a thing..
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There is also Karen whom i met in Burma...
We shared a room, and she came late into the retreat... a doggie like me..
I liked her instantly and once we started talking it was pretty hard to stop..
Sometimes she really sees through me... but never in a bad way...
I was addicted to peanut candy then... and wanted to bring some home to KL..
It was the last day and we had to part.
Karen took a plane from Maymyo to Yangon, where i took the long bus ride.
Upon arriving at the Hotel, i found that she has left me some money to buy candy to bring home.
And i remember being very touched, as she left me USD10 with a little note.
We talked rather frequently on the phone after that, and she would always sent me Metta when i was down. And it always worked...
talk about super powers. :)
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Then there are the friends that have been really supportive..
checking In on me every now and then.
And i really appreciate that.
Thanks for the love....