present moment...

I started the day feeling rather down, drained and blue...
Well of course i would.. the past few weeks maybe even months everything seemed a little blur..
I guess i entered into a state of solitude.. but not of the peaceful kind..
the separated from the world kind...

I went into a state where i was like a machine..
doing this and that, running here and there,
thinking about a gazillion things at a time and not even knowing it..
The state of stillness i once had was no where to be found..

I could no longer hear my inner self think or speak.
Maitland, Mckenzie, books, questions... anwers...
went on and on and on....

Where is my inner self? the peaceful one?
why have i been searching outside?
And then suddenly thoughts of my teacher arises...
my ten day retreats, my perseverance...
the struggle to learn the meaning of silence..

Surely i can still connect with that now...
As i wash the dishes, i wash the dishes...
as i walk... i walk....
as i breathe i feel the gentle touch of movement upon my upper lip...
It has been a while... it has been missed...
I am present... how long will it last i do not know..
But as long as i continue to be in this moment... i will be present...
After all.. isn't life our constant breath?

Today is a good day to observe life... the breath
to observe the present moment....