I do not think it's hard to get me to talk,

Just that i need things to instigate the conversation,

As a child i was always contemplative..

thinking about the ways of the world...

planning how i'd like my life to be....

I always had difficulty talking about emotions.

Writing was always easier..

I wanted to be a spiritual guru you see..

And was always avoiding getting too deep in the so called worldly path..

I visualized a big land, where people would come and heal,

where they would then go out and train others and continue the healing cycle.

I visualized a world full of love and abundance..

Now that i am grown, i find, things are not always like that...

i am not always able to connect to my higher being, for at times i'm lost

Many instances i have reacted with lack of wisdom..

There are no manuals to refer to you see...

and judgements can sometimes be severely clouded.

Wat started good, may not always be the best.

I have found that people are nice,

And that certain things happen for certain reasons.. which i mostly dunno what.

A guest told me during my worst times it was a phase...

this challenge i faced, and it was part of finding spirituality...

We sometimes need to see our worst to find our best

We laughed at each others worst habits...

Hers arrogance, mine a martyr... never voicing my thoughts..

Each having a payback that is hard to drop...

I was so adamant about walking a spiritual path you see...

and now i find myself going into something i swore i would avoid...

Perhaps i need to find the spirituality in the business world...

It's not about the handling of people you see... thats the easy part...

It's about keeping the business running...

How do I do that and still not lose part of myself?

How does a business person earn and reach the dream without pressing on others?

Perhaps it's time to just reach the dream without pressing on others..

Perhaps it's just about let go and just be......

I shall meditate now....